Babywearing Improv
Q: Soft baby carriers look so simple. Do I really need to buy one? Couldn’t I just use what I already have or make my own?
A: Yes, absolutely. The most basic baby carrier is a Simple Piece of Cloth which can be made in to a tie sling, a torso carrier or a wraparound carrier. You may already have a suitable piece of fabric on hand (think shawls, sarongs, large scarves, sheets, tablecloths…) You can go to your local fabric store or even most discount stores and choose your own fabric for a few dollars.
Your fabric needs to be at least 25 inches wide and should be mostly cotton, breathable, resilient, washable, and preferably have a bit of diagonal give. Try not to get fabric that is too thick or you will have trouble tying it. Cotton mesh fabric works well. Follow this general guideline for fabric length: For a tie sling or a torso carry, most people need about 2.8 yards, for most wraparound positions, choose between 4.6 yards (up to 140 lbs and 5’8”), 5 yards (up to 180 lbs and 6’ tall) and 5.5 yards (over 180 pounds and 6 feet tall).
Take your carefully selected, measured Simple Piece of Cloth and have some fun. If you have a short piece (about shawl size), wear your older baby (6 months plus) in the hip carry in a tie sling. You may also want to try the torso carry (fabric is wrapped exclusively around your torso excluding the shoulders entirely). Check out this great video from Tracy at www.wearyourbaby.com of 3 month old baby Charlie on his sister’s back in the Torso Carry using a simple shawl. This is such a great, simple carry. After seeing this video, I immediately tried it with my 8 month old Julia and it was so comfortable. Quick, easy, comfortable, hands-free magic! Because torso carries do not involve the shoulders, this is a great carry for people with neck or shoulder trouble.
With a slightly longer fabric, you may want to wear your newborn in a wraparound position in the front or enjoy the ease a convenience of the rucksack carry on your back.
In a pinch, I have used a light throw blanket to wear my baby on my back for a much needed nap while visiting my in-laws. With a minimal time and expense you can and should use a Simple Piece of Cloth as a great way to carry your precious baby. Anyone else have stories (or resources) to share about using a Simple Piece of Cloth to carry baby?
For you more crafty folks, stay tuned next week for resources for sewing your own baby carrier.
Posted: June 10, 2008 | by
Filed under: Uncategorized |
Favorite Baby Carrier?
Q: What is your favorite baby carrier and why?
A: Let me start by saying I have never met a baby carrier I did not like. I firmly believe that each baby carrier is suited to some parent/baby pair out there. Everyone has their own preferences and mostly it is not about quality, just a matter of opinion, or sometimes just a matter of habit and familiarity. I love the huge variety of soft carriers out there and I get a kick out of trying all the fabulous new innovations. What I like conceptually however and what I actually grab when we leave the house are often two different things. Even though I have a mountain of carriers to choose from, I do indeed find myself reaching for the same few carriers. I find I have different favorites for different purposes (household chores, walking, traveling) and certainly for different ages.
My youngest child is 6 months old and my favorite carrier for her right now is my good old ring sling. Here she is in my beautiful silk ZoloWear sling. I love the versatility of my ring sling. I find it perfect for meeting the ever changing needs of my younger babies without ever having to take them out. I find it so convenient when we are out for extended periods of time because I can start her in the tummy to tummy position which she loves for quite some time, then when she has had enough I can loosen the top rail and lay her down in the fabric to discretely nurse her. At this point she usually dozes off and then I just retighten the sling and I haven’t missed a beat. Once she is asleep reclined, I can swing her to my back if I want to. Also, with these young, smaller babies (mine are usually under about 15 pounds at this point) I do not mind the weight and I am comfortable for long periods even though this is a one-shouldered carrier.
Just today I went up to my children’s elementary school for the end of the year parent teacher conferences. I had little Julia in tow so I grabbed my ring sling. I wore her in the hip carry into the building. As always when I trot out my sling covered baby, people commented on how cozy and happy she looked. Fifteen minutes into the first conference she got restless so I laid her down in the sling and nursed her with the tail of the sling offering us privacy. By the end of the conference she was full but obviously sleepy and increasingly fidgety. That is usually my cue to walk around a bit to settle her to sleep. As we stood in the hallway waiting for the second conference I positioned her reclined in the sling, head out away from the rings and began gently swinging her back and forth. I continued this standing for the first part of the second conference until she closed her eyes. I then gingerly sat with her asleep in the sling for the rest of the conference. She slept great, in fact she is still asleep draped across my lap still in the sling as I type this…making those sweet baby sleep noises.
Based on wearing my four children over the past seven years, here is the pattern that has emerged. I have focused on the first group in this post and will address the other two in future posts:
0-6 months: My favorites are the ring sling for outings, stretch wraparound carrier or mei tai for walks where I anticipate baby sleeping for the duration, and a traditional quilted Korean podaegi for early back carries.
6-12 months: Around nine months or so, I find myself reaching for my pouches instead of my ring sling. I start using my mei tai more often. Although I do like the soft structured carriers (SSC) I have tried I am just a creature of habit and end up reaching for my mei tais.
Toddler: Pouch, mei tai, rucksack carry in a woven wraparound carrier. When I carry my two year old, I reach most often for my mei tai. Yes, I have worn them together using two mei tais, the toddler on my back and the newborn on my front, but sheesh is that heavy! I only wear both if I can see no alternative and the screeching is intolerable. Mostly, they just take turns.
In the interest of brevity, I will limit myself to just a few favorites in each of these categories in no particular order. I do not mean to imply an inferior product by leaving out any carriers.
Ring slings: ZoloWear, Moms in Mind Sarong Carrier, new Maya Wrap lightly padded, TaylorMade Slings, Wise Woman Sling
Pouches: Slinglings, Hotslings, New Native Baby Carrier
Wraparounds: Gypsy Mama (stretch and woven), Didymos (woven)
Mei Tai: Kozy Carrier, BabyHawk
Soft Structured Carriers: Beco Baby Carrier, The ERGO Baby Carrier
You can find a more complete list of all the carriers I have tried and what I like about them here. So this is the long answer to the question of my favorite carrier written when my youngest is six months old. Ask me again in six months and I will bet I have another answer. How about you? What is your absolute favorite carrier? Have you found that it changes over time as your baby grows?
Posted: May 22, 2008 | by
Filed under: Uncategorized |
Wearing Baby At Work
Q: I am returning to my job shortly and will occasionally be slinging my baby on the days that I am in the office. Although I am very grateful that my employer is so open to this idea, I am also worried that despite having 3 babies worth of experience that I will run up against several obstacles. Do you have any tips for combining these two worlds?
A: Congratulations on your upcoming baby and on your decision to keep your baby with you when you return to the paid workforce. Your baby will certainly benefit from being close to you in these early months. This is a question that comes up often, the question of how to combine paid work with tending baby. I would like to share some of my thoughts based on both personal experience and the experiences of other mothers who have shared their stories with me.
At the core, tending to your baby while at work requires essentially the same set of tasks as tending to your baby at home. Whether at work or at home, you are faced with the age old question of trying to “get something done” while tending a newborn. But the stakes are higher because you are beholden to someone… you are being paid and thus you are accountable. Here are some suggestions to get started:
Maximize your maternity leave.
Be kind to yourself! Remember, taking care of a newborn is hard work no matter what the circumstances. One of my strongest memories of those early months was trying to get something done (other than tending the baby!) and never feeling too successful. Essentially, you are doing two jobs at once. Although you are not the first (or the last) mama to multitask, it is important to keep your expectations realistic
Accept right now that you will not be able to work at 100%. Even if you are incredibly productive and your baby’s age and temperament are perfectly suited to your work environment, you will still have to take the time to tend to your baby’s needs: diaper changes, clothing changes, position changes, soothing, etc.
Be flexible. Consider your baby’s age and temperament. It may be helpful to think ahead and plan different tasks at different times based on baby’s mood. Ask yourself: What can I get done when I am nursing, letting baby doze on nursing pillow? (This might be a good time to work at your desk.) What can I get done walking, bouncing, soothing baby in sling? (If baby is not being too vocal, just needing the walking and bouncing, this is a good time to return phone calls, make a trip to the break room/ the rest room/ the coffee pot/ a colleagues desk, etc) Where can I retreat if baby and I need to regroup? (So you can relatch a nursing bra strap, nurse a distractible baby, change a diaper).
Consider your set-up careful and have these helpful tools on hand. You will need a safe/clean spot to set down baby. I really used my wraparound nursing pillow while working at the computer so baby could nurse and nap. Nursing clothes with strategically placed nursing slits can facilitate discrete nursing on the job. You will want to bring along a familiar baby carrier and use your tried and true positions. Remember, babywearing is a tool not a solution. There will be times where it works well and times when it does not work so well. Some activities naturally lend themselves well to wearing your baby, usually those activities include motion: teaching, speaking at conferences (been there, done that!), standing at a reception desk. Desk work is not as obvious. Probably your best bet is planning to do most of your seated work while baby is nursing or already asleep in the sling. As baby gets older, you can anticipate naps and get baby settled on your back to maximize naps.
I came across this great article about on the job parenting, with these useful tips.
Most of all, keep your sense of humor and enjoy your precious bundle. Any one else have ideas for combining baby care with “getting something else done?”
Posted: May 13, 2008 | by
Filed under: Uncategorized |
Tips for Slinging Your Newborn
Q: I tried putting my three week old, eight pound newborn in my ring sling in the cradle position (reclined, head towards the rings), and he hated it! He cried and fussed. I really want to wear my baby not only for the convenience but also for the closeness. Do you have any suggestions?
A: Sure! Here are some tips that have worked well with my own newborns as well as many others. First: Turn that baby around so that his head is away from the rings. Most newborns prefer this position for several reasons. The first is that it allows them to recline more fully. As you can see here in the photo of Heidi with five week old Remy, the back of the head is properly aligned with the spine. Make sure the sling is tightened up properly. Baby should be riding above your belly button. A sling that is too loose is not only uncomfortable for you and baby (babies often balk at the sensation of freely swinging and swaying and prefer the security of a snug sling), but there is also the risk of baby falling through the too-loose folds of fabric.
Secondly, baby’s head is resting easily in the fabric near the surface, baby is not lost in the deep fabric of the typical cradle position. In fact, I often recommend that you try starting with baby’s head out of the sling initially. Many babies dislike the sensation of having their head tucked in. Put baby in the sling with his head slightly out, support his head in the crook of your elbow and then start the baby dance: walking, moving and gently bouncing baby until he is contently settled in the sling and then when he is asleep, you can tuck his little head in and be hands free.
I prefer newborns to be in this reversed position because mom has a clear view of baby’s nose and mouth and can easily verify that he is breathing comfortably. This is also one of the easiest positions for discrete nursing. Simply pull up on the rings to loosen the sling, move your clothing out of the way and latch baby on. You may use the tail of your ring sling to cover you and baby for added privacy. You may want to practice nursing baby in the sling at home before you attempt it in public. I certainly consider nursing in a sling to be “advanced” babywearing.
If you have a pouch style sling instead of a ring sling, you can approximate the nice shallow pouch necessary for a newborn: Just pull the excess fabric up against mom’s chest before placing baby in the pouch. This way, most of the fabric is up against mom and baby’s head is nice and high, riding near the surface of the fabric pouch.
Some other tips for helping a baby adjust to a sling include: Do as much adjusting of the sling as possible before putting baby in. Most babies have limited patience for fussing with the carrier and with positioning. Try to start learning when baby is rested and fed. As we all know, a crabby baby is in no mood to accept any new ideas. Practice in front of a mirror. Watch experienced babywearers. Once baby is in, get moving. The best way to become an expert babywearer is to wear your baby often!
Any one else care to chime in? What tips worked well for you when you were wearing your newborns in a ring sling?
Posted: April 22, 2008 | by
Filed under: Newborn, ring sling |
Mei Tais are Contagious
It is hard to resist the appeal of a Mei Tai. Baby can be worn comfortably on the front or back (even in a hip carry, if you are feeling adventurous). Baby’s weight is supported on both of your shoulders and there is less fabric than a wraparound. On the left, 8 month old baby Henry is riding on his mama Aubrey’s back in an EllaRoo, newborn Eleanor (center) is snug in her Kozy, and 5 month old baby boy is enjoying his ride in a MamaByDesign. If you have never tried a Mei Tai, you are in for a pleasant surprise.
Posted: April 3, 2008 | by
Filed under: EllaRoo, Kozy, MamaByDesign, Mei Tai |
Wearing an Older Child
I always love hearing stories from parents about how babywearing has enriched their lives. In this Babywearing Stories series, with the participants permission, I would like to share some of these memorable stories with you. If you have a special babywearing story you would like to contribute, please let me know (maria@drmariablois.com). Feel free to include a photo if you wish.
My friend, Carole writes:
When my son was about 3 months old I was asked to work at a booth at a trade fair. I did not want to leave him with a sitter, so I put on a nursing dress and my prettiest sling (by this time I had discovered other brands of slings, and had a collection of lovely fabrics). I worked the booth for several hours, standing the entire time, walking the exhibits and talking with customers. My son was content, sleeping most of the time. One man, when he figured out that I “had a baby in there,” asked me when I took him out to feed him. “I’m feeding him right now,” I replied. “He’s nursing.” The man looked at us again, obviously confused, but then it seemed to dawn on him that I was able to conduct a conversation with him while breastfeeding my child, hands-free, in such a discrete way that no one had any idea what we were doing. That’s definitely one of the joys of babywearing!
We went to the Grand Canyon with extended family when my children were 3-1/2 and 5. Traveling with both kids was exhausting, for my 3-year-old was not quite able to keep up with the rest of the group. He wanted to be carried constantly. Fortunately I had packed some baby carriers! My husband carried Darayus in a mei tai and I used a ring sling. Both carriers packed very well, being small and lightweight, unlike heavier framed backpack-style carriers or even traditional front carriers (like a Bjorn, which I also have and used briefly with my first child). When
people ask me how long you can use a carrier, the answer is as long as you want – and in our case, our average-sized 3-1/2 year old was quite comfortable (as was I) even sleeping in a carrier after a hard day sight-seeing!
Posted: April 3, 2008 | by
Filed under: Babywearing Stories, ring sling |
Just Because It Is Pretty
Sometimes you have to wear a sling just because it is so breath-takingly pretty. Check out this stunning silk brocade sling from
ZoloWear. It is so pretty my teeth hurt. ZoloWear slings are also some of the best made ring slings out there, comfortable shoulder, zip pocket, quality fabrics…the whole package.
Posted: April 1, 2008 | by
Filed under: ZoloWear, ring sling |
Mommy and Me
One of the best things about having older children and a baby is watching the older children learn how to take care of the younger ones. In our house we call it “modeling,” as in, “Is that good modeling?” when the 5 year old stands up on his chair much to the delight of the 2 year old who promptly imitates him, teetering precariously on chubby legs. Yikes.
On the flip side, the older children also absorb how to lovingly respond to the younger ones. Since I am always toting a baby around in a sling, the older ones naturally imitate me and tote their babies and stuffed animals around in a sling. Some companies even make child-sized slings that match the mama sling. One of my favorites is the line from Slinglings Baby Slings, shown here with a mama-sized pouch and a matching child-sized pouch for my daughter. Such fun.
Posted: April 1, 2008 | by
Filed under: Pouch, Slinglings |
Life, Interrupted
I keep trying to describe how I feel being at home with four kids, all the needs, all the drama, all the love. 7, 5, 2 and 5 months. It is like trying to focus on your favorite movie, and you really want to watch it and someone keeps turning it on and off, on and off, for no apparent reason and in no appreciable pattern. Even after you ask them to stop. Even after you beg them to stop. It is disorienting. And you can never really just lose yourself in a task. Even the simple pleasures like nursing the infant on the couch or marveling at the toddler speaking in five word sentences (“Me aw done pay outside”) and just being so darn cute, always get interrupted by the toddler speaking and speaking and SPEAKING, and the infant needing to nurse RIGHT NOW, and the 5 year old who is not having a good day, and the 7 year old who is wondering where she should put her trash from her granola bar (Umm, the trash can?). And dinner needs to be started and served and cleared and the laundry needs to be folded.
It is like holding a baseball mitt and trying to catch ball after ball as they are pitched at you mercilessly. Now, I like baseball and all…
I remember reading that mothers must wish there were more hours in the day. Are you kidding me? I am so pooped by the end of the day that the thought of there being more hours to get through is alarming.
And yet, each day is such an exquisite pleasure. I am the luckiest mama alive. And it is all good drama, not sad drama, or permanent drama. I am tired because I am taking care of four delicious, healthy, treasures who are growing and changing each day. It is a privilege, really. And I do hold on to this and take it out and savor it from time to time.
Posted: April 1, 2008 | by
Filed under: mother of 4 |
The Great Laugh
I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard. OK maybe I was delirious. Now, all four are in bed and I feel like a drooling idiot. Staring blankly at the walls. What a day.
So, it was late afternoon, during Spring Break (which simply means that we have no good routine to follow and everyone is home from school, all day, every day and so tired from sleeping over at friends houses and not getting to bed on time). I was sitting on the couch trying to nurse the ever increasingly fussy 5 month old. I hadn’t made dinner yet, because well frankly, with the Daylight Saving time change time keeps sneaking up on me. I had put fruit yogurt smoothie out for the older kids on the table before I sat down and just as I got Julia latched on, Lukas, the 2 year old came rushing in with yogurt goop on both hands and all over his face. “Want noos!” (Want to nurse!) he demanded. Yikes. I grabbed a washcloth and tried to get him clean before he smeared all over me and the baby. My 5 year old sat across from me on the rocking nursing chair angrily rocking back and forth, glaring at me. “Why can’t we go to JJ’s musical? Its not fair. I won’t be happy unless we can go. This is the worst day ever. I’m hungry. When is dinner?” He started pulling absent-mindedly on the tuft of hair on the top of his head.
My 7 year old perched on the edge of the couch and complained that her legs were hurting. So the 5 year old took a swing at her just to see what would happen. “Lay-anse! Stop it. You are hurting me. No hitting!” Lanse burst into tears. (I have asked Nina not to use Alanson’s name as a complaint, but apparently it is a hard habit to break).
The 2 year old took his cue and started his clown routine. He started imitating Nina with at mock serious expression, scolding “No, Awanson, no hitting” with at totally straight face. When we started cracking up, he kept scowling and started pacing hunched over like an old man with a maniacal grin on his face. Hoo!
This just made Alanson cry harder (and angrier!)
Ok, so at this point, I felt a bit like a conductor of a complaint symphony. In the distance, I heard the dog whining at the door and then the phone rang. I mustered up my courage and said brightly, “How about if we go out for ice-cream?” Glum expressions all around (are you kidding me?!) “That gives me a cold headache. I don’t want to get in the car.” Hmm. So I said, “Why don’t we go for a walk around the neighborhood?”
Silence. Then my 7 year old said, “Is that your best suggestion?”
That did it. I started to laugh and I couldn’t stop. I sat laughing and nursing and watching the toddler (really just a baby on wheels if you ask me). Laughing and laughing. The more Lanse cried and complained, the more I laughed. I had to actually stop and wipe my glasses I was laughing so hard. Yep, I sounded a little hysterical even to myself. But it just struck me as SO FUNNY! Nina joined in and we laughed and laughed. She looked at me and said, “What do you do when all four of your kids are complaining at you?”
I laugh, apparently.
Posted: April 1, 2008 | by
Filed under: mother of 4 |
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